Vanita says, “We are having fun!”

Judy: I hadn’t heard from Vanita in a few weeks so I thought I would write and see how things have been going at her house. This was her reply:

Hi Judy!

I cannot believe it! I was just thinking about you over the weekend!

Things are going well with my family. We went on our first family holiday about 2 weeks ago. We took a road trip to George which is about 6 or 7 hours casual driving. Kids were super excited and they definitely deserved to be spoilt!

Zoey is opening up to me about the pressures of school, her peers etc. I think because I now listen and give her choices and consequences scenarios instead of telling her what she should do! I’ve also noticed that she takes better care of herself these days – not sure how that fits in here though. She asks me to braid her hair in the evenings before bed and she is taking her vitamins without me telling her to!!

Judy: This is absolutely wonderful!  Isn’t it amazing how Zoey is responding to your “consultant mom” approach, rather than the “militant mom” who ran the house like a drill sergeant.  As Zoey continues to invite you into her life, take these precious opportunities to talk to her and find out who she is on the inside.

Adam, oh my goodness, Adam is thriving! He’s gone from NOT wanting me to take photos of him at all to SHOWING OFF in front of the camera! His behaviour has turned around 180 degrees from a shy boy lacking confidence to a noisy negotiator!!! His speech therapist is very happy with the improvement!

Judy: This is amazing!  Adam is obviously a bright and outgoing little boy. When parents treat their children with respect, they literally blossom. Even the speech therapist is noticing the difference.

For example on Saturday evening around 8 pm Adam asked if he could have a banana. I said I didn’t think it was a good idea because bananas are heavy and it’s gonna hurt his tummy. He said, “PALLEAASSEE Mommy!” I told him he has 2 options, he can either eat the banana and when his tummy aches he must go lie on his bed and cry softly and not come to me or his daddy, OR I can keep the banana for his breakfast in the morning. He chose the latter and we both won! And he always gives me “options”. Yes, my 5 year old uses the word “option”! He hates bathing so the other day he suggested that instead of bathing him that night (because he was tired) I should wash him the next morning (which in our house is a shower in the bath tub, which we do every other night to save) and when he comes from school I can then bath him. I marvel at how his brain works – he’s not arguing about having a bath but giving me another “option”: 2 days = 1 bath and 1 wash which would have happened anyway. It’s like his own “love&logic” system!!  We are having fun!

Regards
Vanita

Judy: It is remarkable how a child will respond when he feels like he has a choice. Adam is catching on quickly to this concept and as a result, you are giving him the opportunity to use his brain to think through his own problems and make wise decisions. Instead of this becoming a battle of wills, you have given him the freedom to choose, which is a character trait he will need when he becomes an adult. 

I am looking forward to hearing more great stories about the amazing transformation taking place at the Meyer house!

Until next time,
Judy